We started homeschooling because we had a child who was not functioning in the public school system and needed immediate intervention. The other children were doing fine. They were pulled out of school merely as collateral damage resulting from the fact that it was too complicated to homeschool one child, have a toddler at home, a nursing baby, and children in different school programs. It was time to simplify life, circle the wagons, and pull life together. 

My daughter, Karen, was in 5th grade when we started homeschooling. At this point, I was nowhere near being ready to give up the grade level concept, so we labeled her as our “5th grader.” Karen had been the perfect student in public school. She tested off-the-charts in virtually all subject areas and was every teacher’s delight. At the end of the year awards ceremony, she took the “top 4th-grade student” award in three subjects. 

In kindergarten, she was pulled out of class and sent to advanced reading with older kids. She had tested at a 6th-grade reading level and they did not want her to be “bored.” Ironically, the class didn’t do anything for her, however, she was always sad that she had to leave kindergarten and never got to be the calendar helper. There are certain things that really matter to a young child. Reading was not a big deal, but missing calendar helper was! 

Given that background, you can see why I was looking forward to having Karen home. The other children might be more work to homeschool, but Karen was going to be a joy! As our homeschooling experience together started, Karen was just as conscientious as she had been in public school.  Every morning, she got up and went to work, whether I was there to encourage her or not. She was a perfectionist and met every expectation with flying colors. 

We were only two or three weeks into school when something happened that totally changed my outlook. Karen was pestering me for her list of 25 spelling words. It was already Wednesday and she still did not have her word list. Everyone knows that on Monday, you write each word five times. On Tuesday, you use each word in a sentence. On Wednesday, you take a practice test, so I had truly upset her routine by putting her off for so long. Finally, her persistence paid off and I handed her the spelling list.  

A thought came to me and I asked, “is there any word on this page you do not know how to spell already?”  She replied there was not.  Then I asked, “Is there any word in this entire book that you do not know how to spell?”  She hesitated, then answered truthfully, “no.” I asked her, “then why do you have to write all the words five times, use them in a sentence, take a practice test, and then a duplicate final test on Friday?” Her answer was unexpected and insightful. She said with truthfulness, “Because that is what you do to get an “A!”  I was shocked. Perhaps her brother needed that, but Karen certainly did not. She already knew how to spell almost everything.  

A window of understanding opened up to me just then. For the first time, I understood the kinds of ceilings we put on our children’s education. Sometimes those ceilings result from unnecessary structure and arbitrary assignments or expectations. Sometimes they occur as the result of imposing a “one-size-fits-all” program. The goal should be to empower children to become lifelong learners rather than imposing arbitrary limits on their educational journey. 

A tragedy occurs when a child is taught to believe that the ultimate measure of their success is whether they have completed an assignment better than their classmates. The real measure of their success is, and always must be, whether they have reached their full potential and perhaps even pushed themselves beyond what they thought they could do.  

That day marked the end of following grade-level based curriculum for us. We re-adjusted Karen’s school experience to allow her to move forward as fast as she wanted without regard to what a child her age would normally be doing in each subject. Her education became much more self-directed and customized. We created a plan that challenged her. As a result, she was able to break through those artificial ceilings and truly excel.